Finding Strength
by Katie1995
Summary: One-Shot! Father/Son Carlisle/Jasper moment.  Jasper comes to Carlisle for support after the incident at Bella's birthday party and realises that if he is too help himself, he needs to distance himself. How will Carlisle react? Please R&R


**A/N – (I don't own twilight or the characters in any way.****All credit goes to****Stephanie Meyers.)**

**Finding Strength**

**Carlisle's P.O.V.**

The door shut violently in front of me as my son, Edward, flew out of the room. He muttered crossly under his breath while he travelled down the stairs, away from my study, and out of the front door, to what I assumed, would be Bella's house.

I let my head drop into my hands, rubbing my temples in frustration and...tiredness. Paper work still had to be filled in, but with what happened tonight, I knew it would have to wait. That is if I didn't resign my position before the night was out.

Reluctantly I pushed myself from my leather chair, walking over to the calendar that hung limply from a pin that was pushed into an old bookshelf. I let my eyes scan the dates before stopping at one particular square that marked this catastrophic event of a day; 13/09/2006. Bella's 18th birthday.

I crossed it off, a frown making its way onto my face. How could something end so badly in one split second? How could something so small escalate to something so problematic?

Edward was angry with himself, Alice was angry with herself, Jasper was angry with himself, Esme felt weak because of her difficulty to be able to stand in the same room with Bella's blood flowing, Rosalie was annoyed with Edward, and finally, Emmett was cross because he couldn't help anyone with their own personal battles.

My chest exhaled as a long sigh escaped me. I couldn't believe it actually happened. All of it was there though, scorched into my never ending memory.

Bella slicing her finger, Jasper advancing in his attack, Edward throwing Bella across the room, Jasper being thrown full force into the piano, and finally, Emmett and I trying to constrain Jasper. But the one thought that stuck out the most, was my Family's faces. None of them could stand the blood.

I felt absolutely terrible, watching them all suffer. The crimson liquid, even after years of resistance still aggravated my throat, but unlike the others, I could cope with it.

My thoughts were disrupted when four uneven and uncertain knocks sounded on my study door. I knew vaguely who it would be by the unbalanced rhythm.

"Come in Jasper."

The door creaked open and a foot stepped uncertainly in before retreating quickly. I could feel the waves of shame and it hurt so much to know he felt like a failure in my eyes.

"Jasper, please." The door opened again, and the blonde, lean man walked in, his head bowed. He leaned back against the wall by the doorway, not meeting my eye.

"Carlisle, I...Don't...Please...I'm so sorry," he stuttered.

I started to walk towards him but he walked to the opposite end of the room, his hair falling over his face as he kept his head down. I stopped, my hand reaching for nothing, before I dropped it by my side again.

"Jasper-

"Don't, please, I can't hear it, Carlisle. You've told me time and time before, and yet I did it again."

"You didn't mean-

"Don't!" He roared, angrily. "I nearly killed my sister tonight!" His shoulders hunched over and he ran his hands over his face muttering "oh God."

I watched him carefully; his face was still hidden from my view.

"Jasper, please, it was a reaction. We all have the same reaction-

"Yes!" He hissed, his black eyes meeting mine for the first time. "But at least you can control it."

He started to pace, disorientated, the width of the room.

Every day!" He snarled. "Every day I feel like killing everyone in my school. How do I live with that, Carlisle?"

I made a start to him, ignoring his warning growl before pulling him into a one armed hug. He protested wildly before grabbing onto my forearms for support. I pulled away, but he held on, almost as if his knees would let him down if he let go.

"How can I live with myself?" He questioned. "You!" He pointed a finger in my face. "Live every single day without any difficulty. You're the most humane of us all, you try so hard with us, and yet I do _this!" _He screamed.

"Don't, Jasper," I pushed. "I won't hear of you talking so lowly about yourself." He breathed in and out deeply.

"I can't do this anymore, Dad." I held him tighter. He never called me dad unless he was really hurting, vulnerable.

"I'm sorry, but it's true." I could feel his legs giving up on him as I became his only support.

"It is _not. _You try, _you try!" _I exclaimed. "It won't come over night, it never does, but you're doing so well. Look at how far you've come."

"Not far enough," he responded, grimly.

I let go and he fell back against the wall, sliding down to the floor. I crouched down to face him, lifting his chin so I could see him.

"My son, you're the strongest of us all." He scoffed, but I carried on. "You don't give up when things become difficult. You're learning, and I promise, it'll get easier with time." He cupped my face with one of his hands, looking me in the eye so intently, that it took everything I had not to look away from the ferocity of it all.

"I wonder all the time, father," he sighed, deeply. "How you did this – all of this – by yourself. How you restrained from the need of blood, anger...hate. I can't stand to be in the same room as you, when I know all I am is a bloodthirsty monster. I'm the lowest of the low, and for that, I cannot be accepted."

I moved my hands to his shoulder, grasping the as tightly as I could while trying not to shake him with frustration.

"Jasper, my son, I am not disappointed in you what so ever. Tonight was a mistake, and everyone learns from their mistakes. My boy, it is me who cannot not bear to be in the same room as you. After all, you have the courage I lack at times. But you, always, have the courage to carry on, to work through the difficulty life throws at us. You are brave, always brave, and for that, you should at least be happy. You will always be accepted, for you are _not _a monster."

He searched my soul for answers he needed so desperately to find before speaking again.

"Your strength is something I need to learn from." I kept my hands on his shoulders, loosening my grip ever so slightly. "So for now, I think it may be better if I leave." My breath caught in my throat. Leave? He couldn't leave. No matter what he said he was part of our family. Leaving would only cause us pain.

"Jasper, you can't," I breathed.

A small, crooked smile graced his lips, before he looked over at the study door, to where Alice stood. She took a tender step towards us, mouthing a silent "sorry" in my direction.

"It's for the best," he replied quietly as Alice took his hand.

"It is not," I retorted automatically.

"I'll come back," he reasoned.

"When?"

"When I think I'm strong enough for this life."

"Don't do this. Think of Esme, Rosalie!" I exclaimed, panicked. "They need you just as much as I do."

"I know," he replied quickly. "But I need to do this for them too. Just give me some time, please." I alternated my stares between Alice and Jasper, before finally coming to a decision.

"Do what you must, my son," I granted in a whisper. "Just remember we are here for you, always." I erected myself, watching him imitate me with Alice by his side. Alice went out in front of him, but something stopped him and he turned round to face me.

I walked over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder. Jasper, our personal soldier, did the same.

"Thank you for your strength, father." And with that he was gone, leaving me clutching nothing but air.

**A/N – I wanted to show a tender Father/Son moment between Carlisle and Jasper. I, personally, don't think there are enough Carlisle/Jasper/Father/Son fanfics out there.**

**Anyways, if you enjoyed this one-shot, Please Review! Thanks, Katie1995 :)**


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